OLIVE CUSTANCE
Olive Eleanor Custance was born 7 February 1874 to a distinguished and wealthy British family. Her father, Colonel Frederic Hambledon Custance, was an imposing military man and former member of the Grenadier Guards who was a friend of the king, Edward VII. Her mother Eleanor Constance Joliffe came from a similarly aristocratic background, so Olive was descended from privilege on both sides; her father's family even boasted Sir Francis Bacon as an ancestor. Overall, Olive's family was quite traditionally Victorian: wealthy, landed, and proper.
Not much is known of her childhood, but by the time she was a teenager, she
seemed determined to be a part of London literary culture. She met John
Gray, the artist wh
o would become Oscar Wilde's lover and the inspiration for
the title character of The Picture of Dorian Gray, at a party in 1890,
when she was sixteen. She fell immediately in love with him, and though
they were to meet only a few more times, they maintained a lively correspondence
for years, during which he gave her feedback on some of her early poetry.
Olive also began contributing to the trendy London periodical The Yellow
Book and convinced its editor, influential artist Aubrey Beardsley, to
design a bookplate for her. She also contributed her poetry to the
Savoy and the Living age, building a reputation for her loveliness
and considerable wit.
Olive's first book of poetry, Opals, was published by John Lane in 1900. Well-received critically, it managed to win her quite a few fans, including American expat writer and "leading lesbian of her time" Natalie Clifford Barney. Barney bought a copy of Opals while she was in London and was so enchanted by it that she wrote to Olive and invited her to come to Paris and form a "Sapphic circle" of female writers, an offer which Olive was glad to accept.
The most significant admirer that Opals won her, though, was Lord Alfred Douglas, younger son of the Marquess of Queensberry. Douglas was, like Olive, a poet involved with the Aesthetic Movement, but he was more famous for a different involvement: his romantic entanglement with the late Oscar Wilde, which had made him an infamous figure not just in London, but all over the world. Olive introduced herself by writing him a fan letter praising his poetry, then sent him a copy of her poems and a bouquet of roses. Douglas was impressed with her and replied shortly, thus beginning what was to be a tumultuous, decades-long love affair.
Olive and "Bosie" (as Douglas was more commonly called) made plans to meet one day at the South Kensington Museum (now the Victoria & Albert), but they came in through different doors and managed to miss each other. Never easily deterred, Olive set off for his address on Duke Street, still chaperoned by her maid, and presented herself to him. After this, they saw each other as frequently as they could manage, often meeting at the Carfax gallery, which was partially owned by Wilde's friend and literary executor, Robert Ross. The couple considered that marriage for them would be impossible, as Olive's parents would never approve of a match with the penniless, notorious Douglas, but they continued to sustain their relationship, emphasizing the almost literarily tragical nature of it.
Shortly after meeting Douglas in the spring of 1901, Olive visited Natalie
Barney in Paris, accompanied by her friend and neighbor Freddie Manne
rs-Sutton,
the son and heir to the Viscount of Canterbury. Due to the helpful
contrivances of her cousin Lily, the Marchioness of Angesley, Olive was able to
secretively meet with Bosie for ten days while in France.
Their time together was bittersweet: soon afterward, Douglas announced
plans to visit America in search of an heiress to marry. Olive commenced a
love affair with Natalie in Bosie's absence, but this did not last long, as
Olive was still greatly enamoured of him, despite being convinced that their
love was doomed. Natalie, who was growing quite attached to Olive, offered
to marry Douglas herself, saying that the three of them could live together in a
daring menage a trois. Olive obviously never took up this proposal,
though she did arrange for Douglas to meet Natalie when she visited America
later in the year.
Olive and Bosie kept up a correspondence while he was staying in New York, though much of their writing was dedicated to making each other jealous; he bragged that he had his choice of at least three different heiresses, and she sent him love letters she had received from a female admirer. When Douglas returned to England, Olive wrote to him to tell him that she was engaged to a young earl named George Montagu. Douglas was all too familiar with Montagu; they had been friends for years, but had recently had a vicious falling-out, in honor of which Douglas had written a scathing sonnet called "The Traitor" directed at Montagu. Douglas told Olive of Montagu's past behavior towards him, but she would not be dissuaded. She was, of course, under the impression that she would never be able to marry Bosie, and Montagu seemed like a good second choice. He was rich, handsome, and could do a spot-on impersonation of his old friend Bosie, which amused Olive to no end.
Douglas was finally moved to do something about his feelings for Olive, so he
invited her to dine with him at Kettner's restaurant (the location,
interestingly enough, of many of his rendezvous with Wilde) and quickly proposed
a runaway marriage, claiming he
had realized that he could not live without her.
She accepted, and they made plans to meet in the morning of 4 March 1902 at St.
George's Square, Hanover, the church where Douglas's parents had been married.
Douglas's sister Lady Edith Fox-Pitt and his friend Cecil
Hayes (a well-known barrister who would later defend him through many of his
legal troubles) were official witnesses to the abbreviated ceremony; the couple
later learned that Robert Ross had been watching resentfully from the back of
the chapel.
Before they left on their honeymoon, Olive sent a telegram to her mother to tell her what she had done and where they would be staying in Paris. Both Lady Custance and her husband were furious to learn of their daughter's marriage to the disreputable Douglas, particularly since they had just received a letter from the King congratulating them on Olive's engagement to George Montagu. Colonel Custance immediately set off for Scotland Yard to make inquiry, sure that an infamous homosexual offender such as Douglas must have some sort of record, but was unable to find any information on his new son-in-law. Eventually, Custance grudgingly declared his forgiveness and even invited the couple to spend two weeks at Weston Old Hall, the Custance family estate in Norfolk.
Olive and Bosie's first and only child, Raymond Wilfred Sholto Douglas, was born in 1902 in a house in Chelsea; Freddie Manners-Sutton and Natalie Clifford Barney served as his godparents. Raymond was to be a major point of contention in the family, as a result of which the boy himself came to suffer from frequent brainstorms and had to be periodically institutionalized. For the first few years of his life, though, the Douglases lived in relative happiness and tranquility. Olive's second book of poetry, Rainbows, was published shortly after her son's birth, and the family moved to Lake Farm, a beautiful and peaceful pastoral location, in 1904. Also, Douglas became editor of the periodical The Academy, to which Olive made regular contributions. Colonel Custance, who had until Raymond's birth been without a male heir, was devoted to the boy and offered to let him stay at Weston with him as often as he liked, which allowed Olive and Bosie quite a bit of time to themselves.
Conflict began to brew in 1911, when Douglas converted to Catholicism after
reading Pope Pius X's Encyclical Against Modernism. He wanted Oliv
e
and Raymond to convert as well, and this set off a violent disagreement with
the emphatically anti-Catholic Colonel Custance. Custance, who was
paying for Raymond's education, announced that he would leave money to his
grandson only on the condition that Douglas renounce Catholicism once and for
all. Douglas, of course, refused, so Custance began working through his
daughter instead. He eventually persuaded Olive to agree to a resettlement
of his will that would ensure Raymond's inheritance while greatly weakening her
own. Badly advised by her legal contacts, Olive ended up willingly
renouncing her rights as her father's heir, in return for an allowance of 600 a
year, a life-interest on the property after his death, and the promise that
Raymond would inherit the rest. Olive failed to get assurance of the
allowance in writing, however, leaving her father free to use it as a bargaining
chip in the situation with Raymond. Almost immediately, he refused to pay
the money to Olive unless she would agree to hand Raymond over to his care.
Douglas was furious when he heard this and sent a postcard (Custance had begun throwing away his son-in-law's letters unopened) which accused the Colonel of defrauding his daughter. Custance sued Douglas for libel and won, with help from a key witness: Olive. Unable to stand up to her father and exhausted by Douglas's litigiousness (his legal battles were so numerous during this time, they are difficult to keep track of), she ended up leaving her husband in 1914. He was away in the country for a few days with Raymond, and he returned to find a nearly empty house, as Olive had moved out all of her possessions in his absence. Douglas felt horribly betrayed, especially because of her complicity in her father's legal case against him, and took up with a woman named Doris Edwards, who had offered him money to help with his court costs. Colonel Custance quickly learned of the affair from the detective he had hired to follow Douglas around, and he tried to use this information to pressure Olive into commencing divorce proceedings. She refused, instead experiencing a change of heart and calling Bosie to beg him to come back to her; the sound of her voice was apparently enough to win him over, because he left his lover and reconciled with his wife.
Now reunited, Douglas and Olive decided to make a joint appeal to the Chancery Court
for full custody of
their son. They were refused, however, so Douglas, as
a last resort, took Raymond with him to Scotland, fleeing the jurisdiction of
the English courts. He asked Olive to join them; she promised that she
would but in the end was not given the chance. Her father sent a man
to pick up Raymond while he was out fishing alone near the home Douglas had
taken in Scotland. This looked like an attempt at kidnapping, but in
actuality young Raymond had been secretly communicating with his grandfather and
was a willing participant in the scheme. Douglas was frantic after his
son's disappearance, and Olive did not manage to telegram him to tell him that
their son was safe until two days later. There has always been conjecture
that if somehow Olive, Bosie, and Raymond had been able to live together again
as a family, their marriage might have been saved, but that, of course, is
something that can never be known for sure. Another small hope for their
marriage came in 1924, when Olive converted to Catholicism, but she lapsed after
only three years. Olive and Douglas remained married for the rest of
her life, seeing each other nearly every day and remaining on primarily friendly
terms, but they were never to live together again.
Not much is known about the remainder of Olive's life, beyond that she died in the early morning hours of 12 February 1944, at the age of 69, after a long period of illness. Her last few weeks were spent in a state of feverish incoherence, and Douglas was there at her side throughout most of it, sitting by her bed and holding her hand. The main beneficiary of her will was Raymond; everything she left to Bosie was immediately seized on account of his bankruptcy, though he did live in her flat for a while after her death. Olive asked for her ashes to be scattered at sea near her home in Brighton, but her wishes were not fulfilled until 1950.
Olive Custance's last two books of poetry, The Blue Bird and The Inn of Dreams, were published in 1905 and 1911, respectively. After 1911, she seems to have written no more.
TIMELINE
1874 - Olive Custance is born (7 February)
1885 - British law criminalizes "gross indecency" between men
1887 - Olive and Bosie both attend the wedding of his cousin, Rachel Montgomery; when they meet later, neither remembers the meeting
1890 - Olive meets John Gray
1891 - Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray is published
1894 - The Yellow Book is founded in London
1895 - Oscar Wilde goes on trial for sodomy
1897 - Aubrey Beardsley designs a bookplate for Olive
1900 - Opals is published; Oscar Wilde dies (30 November)
1901 - Olive meets Lord Alfred Douglas, then visit Paris and becomes involved with Natalie Clifford Barney (Spring); Douglas visits America (October)
1902 - Olive becomes engaged to George Montagu, just as Douglas returns to England (January); Olive marries Lord Alfred Douglas (4 March) and late in the year gives birth to their son, Raymond; Rainbows is published
1904 - The Douglas family moves to Lake Farm
1905 - The Blue Bird is published
1907 - Douglas becomes editor of The Academy, and Olive becomes one of its contributors; Douglas's "To Olive" sonnets are published
1908 - Olive's mother dies
1911 - Douglas converts to Catholicism and Olive resettles her inheritance, setting off the battle over Raymond; The Inn of Dreams is published
1914 - Olive leaves her husband and goes to live with her father; the beginning of the first World War in Europe
1915 - Olive and Douglas make a joint application for full custody of their son but are refused (30 June)
1918 - World War I ends
1924 - Olive's father dies; Olive converts to Catholicism
1928 - Olive lapses in her faith; Britain finally grants equal voting rights to women
1939 - The beginning of World War II
1944 - Olive dies (12 February)
1945 - The end of World War II
1950 - Olive's ashes are scattered at sea